Another Edition of “What More Do You Need?”

Our previous installments have covered the vaccination “controversy” and the “birther conspiracy” (which is sadly making a comeback because of an idiot’s inability to speak in front of crowds), this edition concerns climate change.

I’ve never been a major skeptic of climate change. I’ll admit that up front so that any conservative readers with no patience can feel free to just hit the comment button right now. The science always seemed to be convincing in the sense that it was certainly happening. How that became controversial is kind of hard for me to understand. Numbers don’t lie, but the accusations that the people compiling the numbers were lying was certainly worth inspection but with no evidence pointing to the existence of a worldwide conspiracy of scientists I never really doubted it.

Yes, Al Gore’s movie is full of errors. For instance, he claims that global warming caused Katrina to be a category five hurricane when it hit New Orleans, when in fact Katrina was only a 3. The flooding had nothing to do with Climate change and more about the rampant corruption in New Orleans regarding the maintenance of the flood levies. However the studies shown in Al Gore’s movie wasn’t really up for debate. There was about as much of a debate about Climate change in the global scientific community as there was about evolution, or gravity. Yet the topic for some reason was politicized, with Conservative congress members calling it junk science, Conservative pundits claiming that some sort of conspiracy must exist because as we all know, in the 70s they thought the world was cooling.

The problem for me was that none of these people were scientists. Rush Limbaugh is not someone I would listen to regarding climatology, Glenn Beck isn’t someone I would listen too ever, and I’m not really sure if O’Reilly ever commented on it (I only watch him when he has a guest I’m interested in…though I hear his Lincoln book is good). When an actual scientist raised questions of bias or flat out fraud in the study I was interested.

Professor Richard Muller of Physics at Berkeley University was that scientist. Concerned over the allegations he sought to disprove climate change through a review of the evidence, in part, by conservative super-contributors the Kochs. The Koch brothers being oil billionaires and supporters of the Republican party, were hoping that a scientist with skeptical concerns about climate change would confirm that nothing they were doing was harming the environment. Republicans even invited him to speak to the committee before the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology last Spring.

What they were expecting was not what they got. The scientific method is, according to the philosopher Husserl, the greatest development of the Western world. It’s cold, objective, rational, and most of all its conclusions are irrefutable (excepting for human/mechanical error).

You start off with a hypothesis, an idea that can be—and this is important—tested. Develop a test, perform the test, collect the data, build a theory. Stronger theories are those that have been tested and confirmed multiple times (see evolution or gravity). When someone like Professor Muller, a skeptic, comes around with the theory that the data confirming climate change is skewed, biased, or fraudelent; we have an idea of what is hypothesis was: that the Earth isn’t warming as reported.

Yet his data showed otherwise. So in conclusion I must ask to the skeptics of climate change, how is it that a scientist who was previously a skeptic looked at evidence and drew the same conclusion that other groups have in the past? He even concedes in the Wall Street Journal oped piece that the previous science was done as carefully as his group conducted their research. In other words his experiment aligned itself with all of the other experiments previously done on the subject. If this doesn’t settle it, then please tell me what will.

Again With the Vaccinations

The best thing about the idiots that believe vaccinations cause autism is that they have absolutely no evidence to stand on. They have no spokesperson with any credentials in medical science, the whole thing is taken on faith and belief. I believe this is what Stephen Colbert called “truthiness” the belief in something just because it feels right rather than accept any sort of actual evidence.

I’ve mentioned this subject several times because prior to my daughter’s birth I had to check it out. My initial gut reaction was that the anti-vaccers were off their rocker, my research (about an hour at the Buffalo library) told me that my feeling was correct. Now perhaps I jumped to conclusions ahead of time and that was not objective of me, but I do put my faith in my own experiences and having known many people that had been given vaccines (all of them in fact) and never having met anyone that was diagnosed with autism it didn’t seem likely that there was any connection.

Now I’ve never been the host of MTV’s Singled Out, but I do know how to read medical statistics despite that. The fact about the alleged “rise” in autism is very simple to explain. The definition of autism changed. In the DSM III, autism was a serious disorder. We’re talking Rain Man style of Autism or need a helmet because the patient will bang their head against the wall all of the time type of Autism. When the DSM IV was adopted (and even to some extent the revision of the DSM III) the diagnosis of autism went up because the definition was broadened to include much less severe symptoms.

The adoption of the new definition occurred in 1994 and the “spike” in diagnoses occurs in 1995. It’s not a coincidence. You can even look at rates of mental retardation/Down’s Syndrome and see a drop. Why? Because what was previously diagnosed as a form of retardation was now included in Autism Spectrum Disorder. Furthermore ASD also includes something called “Asperger’s Syndrome” which is such a mild case of autism that it barely registers for another person that anyone has the disease. It used to not be anything but now that it is included it contributes to the rate of diagnosis which is being seen by morons as an epidemic.

Wakefield, the asshole responsible for all of this, not only made such errors that the British Journal, “The Lancet” retracted his study but now a different journal BMJ has established that it wasn’t just errors but outright fraud. The guy was paid to find exactly what he found for evidence in a lawsuit, and he never disclosed that.

What are people exactly holding on to with regard to believing in this? Not one aspect of their case has any merit other than “it just feels right.” These people should not be considered as having a valid view point and should be given no thought other than as being an exercise in being wrong.

Is It Too Much To Ask?

On some previous occasions I have commented on the “Vaccine Conspiracy.” The idea, most advocated by a playboy bunny and followed by those with a tenuous grasp on reality, that the vaccines we received in childhood (that we all received) were somehow responsible for autism. An idea proposed by former doctor Andrew Wakefield (as he is no longer legally permitted to practice medicine in the UK) in the medical journal Lancet which has since revoked the article with prejudice offering an apology for its publication.

Like all conspiracy theories this one existed because of a vacuum. Unlike most theories, and to this theory’s credit, the vacuum wasn’t made up. The whole JFK Assassination theory rests on the idea that since we don’t know who killed the president it must have been a conspiracy, which is pretty dumb when you consider that we do know who in fact killed him. This theory was based on the idea that since we don’t know what causes autism something must in fact do so. Then it was postulated that it must be vaccinations that children receive since only, what, children get autism? I guess Rainman was lying to me the whole time.

Having already received the sifling blows that involve having your movement led by Jenny McCarthy and the only doctor to have ever gone on record supporting the view not only having that view forcefully retracted but also losing his medical license in his home country there was only one more piece of the puzzle that needed to be annihilated before we could put this one to bed, the cause of Autism.

The most commonly attributed cause of the disease has always been genetic, although that has never been proven. Behind it, has always been environmental factors which are myriad but within that umbrella has been vaccinations. I’m not saying that if you believe that Autism was caused by environmental factors you are some kind of idiot, only if you believed that it was vaccines despite the evidence that it was not…well then you are an idiot (and I actually got a doctor to admit that you are an idiot too).

Now it’s time to begin putting that last piece to bed it seems, and this isn’t new news but now that it has been confirmed by a couple of different sources we can begin to move it beyond the hypothesis stage, that certain genetic mutations look to be responsible for the cause of autism. Children with the condition are possess certain genes that are statistically less prevalent in children without autism. For instance the homozygous 677tt allele showed itself in 23% of children with autism and only 11% of the control group. The 677ct allele showed up in 56% while only showing itself in the significantly lower 41% of the control.

As I said in the beginning, I’m not a geneticist, a pediatrician, or a psychologist. I have not read the DSM IV in its entirety and can only really diagnose certain boo-boos that afflict my daughter. Having read the article I know two things: that there is a likelihood that it is genetics that cause autism which will now be better researched and come to the conclusion that it is the cause or isn’t. Which is much better that the vaccination idea which rests on “I believe” and “I feel” as proof. The second is that Jenny McCarthy, if she was a decent human being, should get ready to begin apologizing to all of those idiots who listened to her and refused to get their kids immunized. Maybe she should even begin paying out for the ones that died.

The 6 Coolest Fish at the Myrtle Beach Aquarium

“There are more dangerous things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.”–Gandalf

My never ending obsession with the deep sea and the myriad of creatures that either do or could live in the sea used to be somewhat of a plague in the beginnings of my blogging. Rarely a month went by when some mention of sea monsters, Cthulu, or the myth of Atlantis went by. The sea is filled with creatures more dangerous than anything that walks on the land and an exhibit at the Myrtle Beach Aquarium showcased several of the underwater weapons that evolution has developed for the denizens of the realm of Neptune. They ranged from the odd to the absurdly powerful, it seemed that the smaller of the creature the more dangerous it actually is. Being the person that I am, I found all of this to be absolutely fascinating, scary, and cool at the same time so I’ve decided to put this in list form.

(I took these pictures with my cell phone camera and are as accurate as I could determine, the two shrimps may be switched)

The Box Fish:

Imagine that you are threatened with perceived impending doom. You usually have two options, options that are ingrained in every living animal for survival: fight or flee. The great majority of creatures pick flee (or hide) and have developed numerous mechanisms for speed and treachery. The other creatures, the fight creatures, attempt to scare off their potential attackers or in some cases merely step up for a little bit of fight club. Others rely on poison, they take the initial attack and then set back like Lucrezia Borgia to watch the death ensue. Then there’s the box fish (note the boxy shape of it), which is more like the main character from the movie Predator. Remember the end of the first Predator movie where Arnold has the thing cornered and it begins to laugh as it arms a low level nuclear device not caring that it was going to die as long as it took everyone else with it? Yeah, this fish is like that. When it feels threatened, which is often, it lets loose a poison gas cloud that fills up the surrounding area temporarily paralyzing or killing everything around it. Unlike most poisonous fish, the Box Fish isn’t immune to its own poison. Which means that if you have this thing in an aquarium chances are that you will wake up one day to the maniacal laughter of the Box Fish as it takes out an entire ecosystem.

The Moray Eel:

Since we did the Predator it’s only fair that we also do the alien from Alien as well. First off, the thing just looks both threatening and cool at the same time. It looks like a snake which for most people is already off putting but then it also has teeth which makes it somehow worse. It lives underwater which it means it can automatically out fun you. Evolution has given it something different, something eldritch, and certainly alien. Behind that strange mouth, beneath those fearsome teeth lies another mouth. The Moray Eel has two mouths to feed, and not because it’s a responsible parent either. That outward mouth, the “normal” one, is designed for catching and wounding, the inner mouth is the one that clamps down on the food and drags it into the eel’s digestive system. A placard at the Aquarium said that this was the inspiration for the Xenomorph in the Alien series. Thank you nature, once again, for showing me that the creatures of my nightmares are only mockeries of things that really exist.

The Pistol Shrimp:

If you look at the right of the creature you will see a small claw, it’s really the other claw I wanted, but let me explain this beauty. It’s called the “Pistol Shrimp” because it hunts by shooting bubbles from a quickly closing claw. Doesn’t sound too bad right or even that amazing, but trust me: it’s what happens when the weapon is fired that makes all the difference. The snapping shut of the claw takes place in a mere 300 microseconds forcing jets of water that have been clocked around 62mph. This would allow it to flip just about anything that it wanted over or out of it’s way, but that’s not the weapon merely the gunpowder behind the bullet. As the stream of water goes forward it generates a low pressure bubble which then collapses creating a deafening sound that then dazes and stuns it’s prey. It’s a fucking shrimp, and it’s just over 2cm long and the sound it makes has been measured at 218 decibels. For comparison sake the human threshold for pain is at 120 decibels, and close proximity to a jet engine is a mere 160db.

It gets weirder as well. When the low pressure bubble collapses (a process called cavitation) it is so intense that it actually generates light and the internal temperature of the bubble is measured at 10,000 degrees Kelvin (18,000 degrees farenheight), just so you know the temperature of the surface of the sun is 5,778 Kelvin. Again, this Shrimp is only 2cm long.

The Mantis Shrimp:

This much larger cousin of the Pistol Shrimp is no less strange and no less cool in the unique muscle arrangement that makes it one of the most powerful creatures on the planet (relative to size of course). Housed in its striking appendage is a horseshoe shaped spring, unique to this animal alone in the entire kingdom, which allows it to move the claw at a top speed of 23 meters per second, underwater. The picture above doesn’t show that the shrimp is being held in bullet proof glass because of the tendency of these things to punch holes in double walled tanks. If you’ve ever been to an inner city 7-11 and noticed the thick walled plastic that the teller is behind, that’s what they need to encase this thing in or else it will break loose. Not because it needs freedom, but rather because it’s kind of a dick. Rather than walk around a piece of debris it instead prefers to obliterate it with the strongest punch on the planet. If it were the size of a person there would be very few things on the Earth, aside from the Earth itself, that could withstand it. All because this little guy decided to use the horseshoe as a weapon instead of building a shell with it. Sometimes evolution is just being an ass.

The Box Jellyfish:

[Note: this picture is not mine, the jellyfish was missing from its tank that day]

This is an odd creature. It’s called “box” because of the square shape of its bell which is fairly unique among jellyfish. Unlike most of its kind this thing can actually move instead of just drifting at a speed of four knots. It has fairly complex eyes four sets of sex, one on each side; possessing iris, cornea, retina, and a lens but no nervous system. There is a debate as to whether the creature hunts its prey or is merely an opportunist, but give the deadliness of the creature I’m of the opinion that there is no way it needs to be that powerful if it is an opportunist. If you get stung by this malevolent being, you are screwed–the poison contained in one of these things is enough to kill 60 adults. The nematocysts (stingers) inject not just one type of toxin but several. The first is a cardio-toxin that directly attacks the heart turning it into a big pile of mush that is unable to pump blood. The second is a paralytic neuro-toxin which causes extreme pain, muscle cramping, neural system shut down and the desire for the sweet release of death. The third is dermatonecrotic, which causes extreme pain at the sting site and rots the skin. There is an anti-venom but that will do little good for you because the creature is transparent with a light blue tint making it nearly invisible in the water, which means that no one will know it was there. The only real defense you have is stay the hell away from the waters of Australia.

The Blue Ringed Octopus:

[Not my picture since the rings only show up when this thing is angry and I'm sure there is some law against museums building contraptions to piss these creatures off]

Octopi and Squid are some of my favorite animals in the sea primarily for one reason: there is no limit to how big they can get. Most animals are limited by the structural integrity of bone, you will never see a human over 10 feet tall because the weight can not be supported by bone. Cephalopods don’t have this worry as the only cartilage they possess is in their non-weight-bearing beak, those reports of giant Krakens attacking boats ala Jules Verne, while improbable is at least possible. In the dark deep ocean there could be a 100 foot (not counting tentacles) Squid waiting, plotting…

This octopus however is not one of those creatures. In fact it’s one of the smallest Octopi measuring between 5 and 8 inches. Again, though, it’s the poison that makes it a killer. The salivary glands of the creature contain a bacteria which produces its venom, a venom which possesses 10 different toxins that in combination have no known anti-venom and is entirely fatal. If you are ever in the water and see a small yellow octopus become spotted with blue rings remember this, “before you die you see the rings.” Swim the hell away! It’s not cute, it’s not pretty, it’s nature’s warning for you to get out of the water and move to the desert. The primary toxin is TTX (found also in Puffer fish-which are pretty lame otherwise), which blocks the movement of sodium ions across neural fibers causing paralysis of the muscles and heart. The victim dies within minutes of asphyxiation if rescue breathing is not administered right away, the worst part? That said victim will be completely conscious despite all outward appearance of being dead (dilated and fixed pupils, lack of breathing).