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iAmNotImpressed

The big news today, aside from the State of the Union address which probably didn’t gain as much interest as this did anyway, was that Apple has released its next device: the iPad. As far as I can tell the device is just a bigger version of the iPhone with two more features that I guess Mac users have been clamoring for in the phone. The first is that it is blue tooth enabled so that you can connect a keyboard to it and the second is that it can emulate the “electronic paper” of devices like the Amazon Kindle. People have been anticipating the release of this thing for months now and I hope, really really hope, that they are unimpressed by this thing.

Seriously, it really just is a large iPhone. I’ve used the phone and while it was nice to use I wasn’t that impressed by the technology. It’s cool that I can flip through the real internet, as opposed to the modified pages that blackberry users can see, and a decent functioning touch pad. Which if you think about it, really was the big draw wasn’t it? It’s cool to flip through your photographs like you would do in a paper photo album…or at least you thought it was cool because it really wasn’t. All it did was give the user another way to brag about their device.

Which in the long run means that I will probably end up seeing a person working this new device while at the same time secretly pretending that they are not hoping someone will ask about it. Let’s do a spec run for the iPad based on what we know: 1.5lbs, 9.7″x7.5″x.5″ with the display being 9.7″, 1GHZ processor speed with the A4 chip, 16-32-64gb flash storage. Other features in include built in bluetooth 2.1, wireless internet connection, and the more expensive models will have 3g connectivity which adds about 135.00 to the cost.

Who is this being marketed toward with a minimum price of 499? None of the previous specs are anything extraordinary, well they are just not in the way that we usually mean the phrase. For 200$ less I can get a Dell net book that has a larger screen, 3x the memory, and the advantage of using an actual computer operating system (windows XP), and a 1.6ghz processor. So again I ask, what is the point of this new thing other than to suck the money off of Mac Users who get tumescent every time Steve Jobs releases a new, more expensive version of something that already exists?

Of course the answer is: the touch pad. Just as it was when the iphone was released because cell phones already possessed the following two features: music player and internet browsing. They also all possess the capability of having an infinite amount of memory due to the fact that even my old Chocolate phone that was a complete piece of shit had mini SD card ports. That phone, upon 1st generation, also had the ability to take videos something the iPhone would need THREE generations to accomplish. This thing is a vampire, it’s a niche product designed to suck away money and serve almost no purpose. Can it even make phone calls?

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