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Oil Rig Troopers

I’m going to make my best effort to nip this one in the bud before it gets too strong. Right now only the fringest of the fringe are taking stock of one of the most ridiculous conspiracy theories I have heard since the little-known but widely derided accusations that somehow Bush caused the Tsunami in 2005.

The theory regards the environmental catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico and the explosion of the rig that caused it. Before I even begin with the theory let me preface with the admiration I have for the creativity of the theory itself. During the Bush presidency the theories were pretty lame only positing such things as weather machines (or Earthquake machines depending on who you ask). I remember the numerous theories surrounding the Clinton Administration, although I will grant that the internet was pretty new then so that may have had something to do with the novelty of being able to post anything anonymously.

Anyway, the theory has taken a couple of odd turns, so I am going to concentrate on the best one but will add “/” when the others intersect. It’s a good example of how these theories run, no evidence, a plethora of hypotheticals, and circular citation. My primary source (number one on a google search) does several things which are endemic to the conspiracy theory, alone with the prior examples the author sets up a series of hypotheticals and then concludes that there was a cover up as if this exercise in meta-logic actually discharged their assumptions (something that is infuriatingly difficult in advanced logic).

The theory is that North Korean submarines* torpedoed the rig in a deliberate act of sabotage/war. There is also a theory that they accidentally destroyed the rig attempting to destroy a South Korean sub in the area.

Then the President of the United States ordered a press blackout and deployed SWAT Teams to the area. Although the latter has yet to have an explanation as to his intent in doing so. The former makes no sense for why the United State’s president would cover up an action by a foreign government for whom there is an established record of enmity. I guess the president has expressed interest in opening talks with our enemies but that is this blogger being quite generous to the crackpots.

For which my generosity is completely undeserved since there was no press blackout. Again, Google as my tool, my first page is covered with reports immediately following the event and all from major news sources ranging to the left’s MSNBC and to the right’s Fox News. Everyone covered this story. The fact that no reporters were on the scene is largely due to the fact that scene did not exist anymore. This does not indicate a press blackout.

An interesting fact is that my primary source article claims that a television station, WRAL in Raleigh is reporting the Russian report of the North Korean Sub. If you check their source though, you will find that it is not a report from the station, but a report posted on the website as a blog that they host. Every news station does this and it is free and open for anyone to do so, to claim that the station itself is doing this is deceitful.

My source seems to link to the Rush Limbaugh show for most of the information. This is bad for two reasons: first off all of the links do not point to Rush but rather to callers to his show. This is hearsay at its worst because the writer is using a personality that is widely respected by some circles but not using his words, just what reads like him placating a caller. Rush consistently mitigates the callers. Secondly, even if Rush had said the words he doesn’t report the news, he offers commentary on the news. If Chris Matthews, Bill O’Reilly, or Keith Olberman, etc were used it is always important to remember they are pundits not reporters. I don’t agree with the pundits on Fox news but I do like their reporters (see the difference).

Other theories regarding the tragedy seem to involve Environmentalists purposely sabotaging the rig in order to protest off shore drilling or the evil oil companies (this theory is actually propagated by Rush himself). This is more plausible (though still not likely) but if a radical environmental group (like the Earth Liberation Front**) with an agenda committed the act it serves them no purpose if they do not claim responsibility for it.

We must resort to the Razor of Okham for the truth. What is more likely, any of the above theories or that an oil rig pumping a volatile substance from sea floor exploded?

*Internet research from globalsecurity.org appears to indicate that the only submarines that North Korea’s Navy possesses (the Whiskey and Romeo classes) are both diesel operated. This means that while they possess the stealth capability to enter into the Gulf of Mexico undetected it also means that they don’t have the range to do so. They would either have to enter through the Panama Canal, in which they would surely be located, or take the long way around the tip of South America much too far for a non-nuclear Submarine.

**About five years ago they torched a lumber yard to protest the rape of the Earth, which is nice that they can be so contradictory.

Categories: current events, expose
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